As a nationally recognized expert on pickleball [unless you ask anybody who knows me at the Camano Island or Stanwood pickleball courts], people come up to me all the time and ask me for money – or for directions to Terry’s Corner. Once in a while, they also ask, “Tim, what is the kitchen?” What a great question. Let me get this straight, you’ve been playing this sport for three years now and you’re just now asking me this question? My, you are a slow learner, aren’t you? But that’s okay. Let me help you out.
The kitchen – in addition to being the place where I prepare my healthy breakfast of frosted cinnamon pop tarts and Froot Loops cereal – has an entirely different meaning in the sport of pickleball. It represents the area next to the net where players are not allowed to volley and the area where I can often be found swinging helplessly at nothing but air as the ball goes sailing past me.
“Why is it called the kitchen, Tim?” Because calling it the “laundry room” just sounded silly.
“Is it okay to keep your fridge in the kitchen, in case you get thirsty for a beer?” I don’t think you’re getting this concept. Let me go over it one more time.
“But Tim, why can’t you volley in the kitchen?” I have no idea why, okay? I didn’t make up the rules of this sport. Why do you win the point on the serve if your serve hits your opponent in the non-serving box? It makes no sense to me. No more questions, please! You’re starting to get on my nerves.
Pickleball is often played on tennis courts. They paint the pickleball court lines in a different color to help avoid confusion with the tennis boundaries. This is irritating to tennis players. But this is just a short-term problem because within five years, there will be nobody left who still plays tennis. And soon you’ll never have to listen to another tennis player gripe about all these confusing pickleball lines.
If you’re over 60 and you’re looking for a way to become more active and meet lots of interesting people, my advice is to try golf or frisbee golf or water aerobics. But if none of these sounds like your cup of tea, then definitely give pickleball a try. But if that still sounds like too much effort, then maybe shuffleboard is more your style. I hear it’s making a comeback.
– Tim Jones [Check out more of Tim’s View from the Bleachers humor column in the Crab Cracker, at www.ViewFromTheBleachers.net and his YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/viewfromthebleachers]
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